2012 May

Is there really no way to stop time?

May 31, 2012 By Steph 4 Comments

I am 38. I have been 38 since February and I am still getting used to the idea that I am very quickly approaching 40.

But frankly, I don’t really mind getting older. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t enjoy the little signs of age that continue to crop up out of nowhere—like the crows feet that have found their way to my eyes or the skin blemishes that have suddenly appeared on my aging face). No, that doesn’t really bother me. It annoys me, but it doesn’t keep me up nights. What does keep me up nights is the unavoidable fact that my children are growing up way, way too fast!

Every time I set eyes on a baby, my uterus aches a little. It yearns. It reminisces. Every time I see an adorable little toddler innocently tugging at his mommy’s sweater, I am painfully reminded that I will never again experience what that mother is experiencing in that very moment.

Then the crazy sets in and I start thinking about how great it would be to have another baby. (With another husband, of course. The one I have now does not share in my baby envy.)

Ultimately, my rational self prevails. I think back to my nerve-wracking pregnancies and C-sections, the sleepless nights, the diapers, the strollers, the toddler years and the potty training. And I am instantly thrust out of my momentary insanity and into the calm (relatively speaking) of the life I now have with my boys.

What I continue to realize is this: it’s not so much that I want them to be young again as it is that I don’t want them to get any older.

When my kids were three and five, I decided they were the perfect ages and didn’t want them to get a second older.

But they did. And it was good!

When they were five and seven, I said they were the perfect ages and didn’t want them to get a second older.

But again, they did. And again, it was good!

Now they’re seven and nine and this time I really mean it. They are at the PERFECT ages.

No getting older! Got it? Seriously God, got it?

I’m operating on a hunch here, but I don’t think the Big Guy is gonna agree to this.

Enter John Mayer. Yes, that’s right — John Mayer. What does John Mayer have to do with my constant inner dialogue about my aging children? Isn’t it obvious? His song, “Stop This Train” tackles this very quandary.

“Stop this train. I want to get off and go home again. I can’t take the speed it’s moving in. I know I can’t. Honestly, won’t someone stop this train?”

I hear John ask this question and I, too, want to know the answer. Throughout the song, John ponders; he struggles; he looks for loopholes. I listen intently to see if he finds the answer that I seek — some magical secret to stopping time in its tracks.

Surprisingly, he does not.

What he does find by the end of the song, however, is sound advice from his dad:

“Don’t stop this train. Don’t for a minute change the place you’re in. Don’t think I couldn’t ever understand. I’ve tried my hand. But honestly, we’ll never stop this train.”

This song, and apparently advice given by John Mayer’s dad, gives me comfort. It reminds me that growing old, growing up – whether it’s me or my children – is a part of life that should be embraced. I need to remember to see the beauty of where we are today — because, as John concludes, “Now I see, I’ll never stop this train.”
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For more like this, see my Reflective Parenting posts.

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Filed Under: Mom's Musings Tagged With: growing up, kids growing up fast, stop this train

Gone, just gone.

May 31, 2012 By Steph 12 Comments

This post is in response to the Trifecta Writing Challenge.

Trifecta consists of two weekly challenges: one weekday prompt and one weekend prompt. For the weekday prompt, which is the one I’m responding to in my post today, they put out a one-word challenge. Writers are asked to craft a creative response using that word in the text. The response must be between 33 and 333 words.

Here it is:

It came out of the blue. But why? How could it so quickly decay with a foundation so strong? No, strong it was not. Looking back, the cracks were there, getting larger with each passing day. Had my eyes been open, I would have seen. Had my heart been wiser, I would have felt. In the blink of an eye, it was gone. I had take it for granted and now it was gone.

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Filed Under: Creative writing

“My hands are sexy”

May 30, 2012 By Steph 13 Comments

Children give us so much in life: joy, headaches, love, heartburn, etc… They also give us great blog fodder with the crazy things they say.

My 7-year old, whom I am now going to lovingly refer to as “D-Man”, informed my husband and me that he has “sexy hands.” Oh boy. Then he proceeded to tell us that everything on his body is sexy, except for his poop. Well, that part is true at least. Poop is definitely not sexy.

This kid is obsessed with the word “sexy.” Once again, I blame stupid LMFAO for this. Combine this with the fact that he recently called me, his own mom, “smokin’ hot,” has me mildly concerned. But since he also thinks the back yard is sexy and our dog is smokin’ hot, I am going to operate under the assumption that he doesn’t know what either of those two things really mean.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad he has an appreciation for his hands (and the back yard) and I am honored that he thinks so highly of me, but perhaps it’s time to set this kid straight on what those two things mean.

[thoughtful pause]

Na. Instead, I’m going to file these little things away in my brain and take them out again later when he’s older to use as a tool of embarrassment.

I’m so glad I have my parenting priorities in order.

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Looking for ideas on how to eat better? See How to Eat Healthy Without Noticing: A Non-Dieter’s Guide to Eating Better.

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Filed Under: Behavior, Mom's Musings, That's Inappropriate! Tagged With: inappropriate things kids say, kids say sexy, things kids say

Healthy snack ideas for kids

May 28, 2012 By Steph 4 Comments

When it comes to feeding my kids, I’m not perfect. I try to ~~force~~ encourage them to eat a well-rounded diet. But sometimes I fail.

They don’t’ always eat all their lunch or dinner. (Breakfast usually goes pretty well, though.) I’ll give them chicken, green beans and rice and they’ll leave at least something completely untouched. And that varies by kid—one will eat a few bites of chicken and gobble up the rice while the other will eat only the rice and green beens. So frustrating!

So, I use snacks as a way to get some extra nutrients into them.

Here’s what I’ve found works best – they like it and I feel good about what I’m giving them:

Apples with cinnamon. Since cinnamon is a healing spice, I love giving this to them just as much as they love eating it. (One word of caution: be sure to grab the cinnamon, not the curry powder, out of your spice rack. They’re almost identical. Curry does not work well apples. I tell you this from experience.
Apples with peanut butter: If they need a boost of protein, I skip the cinnamon and slather the apples with peanut butter. (Then I down a spoonful of the peanut butter – sometimes with a couple of chocolate chips on top. YUM! Shhh.. don’t tell my kids.)
Bananas with peanut butter: If I don’t have apples, bananas work just as well with peanut butter. Delish!
Strawberries with a little sugar. Once the sugar mixes with the juice from the berries, it becomes almost syrupy. It’s like strawberry shortcake without the cake or whipped cream.
String cheese: What’s better than this? It’s easy. It’s neat. It’s fun. And it’s a great source of protein, calcium and vitamins and minerals.
Edamame: Until recently, I thought my kids were the only ones who loved these. It turns out, these cute and convenient little soy beans are way more popular with the kids than I realized!
Hard boiled eggs: Eggs are an amazing power food. It’s a complete protein and it’s got tons of vitamins and nutrients that promote muscle, brain, cardiovascular, skin, hair and eye health. Need I say more?
Popcorn: Who doesn’t love popcorn? Skip butter and you’ve got a low-fat, high-fiber snack. When I make this for me, I spray it with olive oil spray and sprinkle it with a little parmesan and thyme. So good!
Frozen grapes: Sounds strange, but it’s a surprisingly fun and tasty treat for the kids.
Smoothies: The one I make for my kids is a Strawberry Sunrise Smoothie. Just blend 1/2 a banana, 1/2 cup frozen strawberries and about a 1/2 cup orange juice. (I get the OJ with calcium.) Three fruits PLUS calcium! What’s better than that?
Cinnamon toast: I get the bread that has all the extra good stuff in it, like Wonder Smart (I’ve tried whole wheat, but they JUST WON’T EAT IT). I toast it, smear a little butter on it then sprinkle some cinnamon. And as we previously established, cinnamon is all sorts of awesome for the body!
Yogurt Pops: I like the Stonyfield Yo Kids Squeezers because they don’t have a bunch of added crap, like high fructose corn syrup, aspartame and gelatin. My kids like them frozen. (They’re much less messy this way, too.)

Do you have any good ideas for healthy kids’ snacks?

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Want to see more like this? See other Posts on nutrition.

Looking for ideas on how to eat better? See How to Eat Healthy Without Noticing: A Non-Dieter’s Guide to Eating Better.

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Filed Under: Nutrition Tagged With: great kids snacks, healthy food for kids, healthy snack foods for kids, healthy snacks for kids, kids healthy eating

Yelling (and other parenting techniques)

May 25, 2012 By Steph 6 Comments

Last week, a friend, whom I consider to be a pretty loud yeller, told me that I yell at my kids a lot.

What the WHAT?

To me, that was like an alcoholic telling someone they’re drinking too much.

To put it into context, when she made that comment I was yelling my kids to get out of the street because a car was coming. Apparently my yell was a tad bit piercing. Even still, it did get me to examine my parenting skills. I do tend to yell a lot, even when cars are not involved.

What better way to self reflect than to go straight to the targets of my loud verbal outcries – my sweet boys.

Me: “Boys, do I yell a lot?”

Them: “Yeah. Why?”

Me: “I was just told that I yell at you guys a lot.”

Them: “You do, but it’s okay. We love you anyway.”

Me: “You realize I yell at you because you don’t listen to me, right?”

Them: “Yeah, we know.”

The conversation ended there. I went off and pondered for a while. Then I came back to them and proposed a new strategy, adopted from what I’ve observed their teachers doing in class. I decided that I’d simply clap five times until I got their attention. It seems to work for the teachers, why not for me?

It lasted one day. I felt so stupid doing it and the boys laughed at me. We then all agreed that yelling was the preferred approach.

That being said, I do try other strategies before I get to the point of yelling. They include:

Asking them to look me in the eyes so they are focused on what I’m saying.
Counting the three (what parent doesn’t do this?).
Threatening them (i.e. no iTouch, early bed time, no playing with friends, etc…).
Or sometimes, I very, very calmly, with a slightly psychotic look in my eyes, tell them that in a minute I’m gonna yell really loudly. This one is surprisingly effective.

The above strategies sometimes work for me. But often, they do not. That’s when I yell.

Well okay, if I’m being totally honest, I do ~~frequently~~ occasionally skip those steps and go straight to the yelling. But it is usually when time is of the essence (like EVERY morning!).

I’m open to some new ideas. Anyone out there who does something other than yelling to get their kids’ attention? My voice box could use a break.

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Show me some love and click below! That’s all you have to do. Just click.

Want to see more like this? See Favorite Posts.

Looking for ideas on how to eat better? See How to Eat Healthy Without Noticing: A Non-Dieter’s Guide to Eating Better.

You can also check me out on Britely.

Filed Under: Behavior, Mom's Musings Tagged With: get kids to do as they're told, how to get kids to listen, yelling at kids