My children often ask me perplexing, if not bizarre, questions. And I feel like the lamest mother on the planet when I don’t have the answers they seek. While I do answer them, it is not in any intelligent way.
Here are some examples of the thought-provoking questions (several involving Santa) that they’ve asked me, and my idiotic answers:
9-year old: “Can Santa see the future?”
Answer: “Um, uh I don’t think so. But let me google it.”
9-year old: “Do Santa and the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy talk to each other?”
Me: “Hmmm… I don’t see why not. Sure. Yes, the answer is yes.”
7-year old: ”Who is older, Santa or God?”
Me: “God made Santa, so God.”
9-year old: “How can we see the stars from Earth if outer space is out of this world?
Me: ”So, the sun orbits the… and it reflects the… whatever… You know what? Just ask Uncle Rob. Or Grandma. One of them can explain it to you.”
7-year old: “Does it hurt when you die?”
Me: “It depends on how you die. Wait, what? Why are you asking me this? Let’s talk about something else.”
9-year old: “I know how God sees us. The Earth is His eyeball. Makes sense, right mom?”
Me: “Okay… yeah. Sure. Why not? Sounds good to me”
9-year old: “If I ride my electric scooter to Rhode Island, how long would it take me to 
get there?”
Me: “Let’s see… your scooter goes 15 miles per hour, RI is, I don’t know, a few hundred miles away, so let’s see… hmmm… you know what, my brain is starting to hurt. You’re not allowed to ride your scooter to RI.”
9-year old: “Everything I think about is happening right now, right?”
Me: “Huh?”
9-year old: ”Right now, if I think about somebody getting his tonsils out, that’s happening somewhere, right?”
Me: “Yeah, probably.”
9-year old: ”So, how many people are in the world, 7 billion?
Me: “Sure.”
9-year old: ”So, how many of those are getting their tonsils out right now?”
Me: “Good Lord, child, I don’t know. What do you want for dinner tonight?”
Eloquent, huh? Sometimes I amaze myself with my own stupidity.
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Thanks for making my head hurt this morning! LOL How do they come up with this stuff? My 8 y.o. is the worst – or best. I always say, “What do YOU think the answer is?” because he always has his own explanation anyway. I loved the response, “You’re not allowed to ride your scooter to R.I.” When in doubt…Thanks for the morning giggle!
Kathy, I do throw it back to them sometimes. But more often than not, I end up saying, “let me google it.” Then, of course, I never do.
You mean the questions only get harder??? I have a hard enough time answering questions my 2.5 year old asks. Can’t wait until he’s older…
I also ask my kids what they think the answer is. Then I resort to saying, “We’ll have to look it up. Remind me.” Thanks for the laugh!
Patricia,
It’s good to know I’m not the only one who doesn’t have the answers.
Linda, just you wait. They start asking profound questions… questions to things I have yet to figure out the answers to. I’m amazed at how their little brains work!
I was horrified to realize a few months ago that my kindergartener knows more about the earth, sun, moon, and stars than I do. I can’t answer her questions: I rely on Google for everything! So, in the end, I have no answers, either.
“You’re not allowed to ride your scooter to RI.” LOL!
JD, I know what you’re saying. I am really starting to believe that my 3rd grader knows way more than I! It seems I’ve retained nothing from my years of schooling.
This was so funny! I love their thoughts! The tonsils one is great & the Earth eyeball was very creative. Ha! Thanks for linking this up with us over at #findingthefunny!
Our kids have crazy thoughts, don’t they? I supposed we must have when we were their age as well.
YOU are AWESOME. I am so happy to know that others respond to their children in similar ways–I especially loved the Rhode Island response and the reference to others who most certainly have all of the answers! Thanks for the laugh–I found you on YKIHAYHT’s comments and am so glad I did!
http://anothertiredmommy.blogspot.com/2012/02/what-do-you-eat-for-dinner.html
I’ll tall ya… sometimes I feel like I’m an unfit parent. Thank God for GOOGLE!