My FIL came down from MA last weekend. He tries to come once in the Fall and once in the Spring to watch the boys play sports.
He is one of those guys who is set in his ways. The way he did it when he was raising kids is the only way to do it. So of course I know that every time he comes down, I’ll get some sort of comment(s) about what the boys should or shouldn’t be doing in the world of sports.
E-V-E-R-Y T-I-M-E!
Before I go any further, I want to note that most of what he says is kind and encouraging. But it’s those little comments that really dig into me, like a noogie on the head (which he forcefully lovingly introduced to both of my kids this weekend).
So, this weekend started out with two baseball games on Friday night. I was at D-Man’s game while hubs and FIL were at Mr. A’s game. When we met up after the games, he commented that Mr. A’s team “needs to step it up.” Okay, then. Thanks.
On the way to dinner, he proceeded to lecture us about why we should NOT get our kids involved in travel sports. (A former cop, my FIL is a big fan of the local town leagues.) Mind your own business, Papa Thank you for the suggestion, Papa, but as we are about to head into our first stint of travel baseball this summer, we will not be taking your advice.
The next day, we went to Mr. A’s soccer game. About half way through the game, FIL asked, “Am I a bad luck charm or what?” In other words, “Every time I watch Mr. A play soccer, he plays like shit.” He may have played like a comatose zombie for half the game, but he had a few moments of greatness (see pic).
Then as we were headed to the car, FIL said to hubs, “Mr. A should be a Linebacker.” In other words, “He sucks at soccer and should play football instead.” My response was the same response I give him every time he suggests my skinny little 9-year old get into football, “Dream on, dude. That’s not gonna happen.”
Later that day, we headed to D-man’s baseball game. The league changed the field last minute, so when we showed up, only a small fraction of our team was there. Everybody else was at the other field – the wrong field – waiting for the game to start (DOH). So, there was a bit of waiting around.
Sensing his frustration, I went over to FIL and explained to him what was going on and why the game wasn’t starting. His response was an unenthused, “Uh huh.” His tone and body language told me that what he really meant to say was “This league doesn’t’ have their shit together. When I was coaching little league this kind of crap never happened.” I know that seems like a lot to infer from those two little words. But trust me, I know of where I speak.
The visit wasn’t all bad. In fact, it wasn’t bad at all. Those annoying little snippets aside, we had an enjoyable time. After the games, we went to the diner for some crappy, greasy food, then treated the indigestion with some soft serve ice cream. We came home, watched the Celtics on TV and played a little chess and candy land (well, he watched the Celtics and hubs and I played chess and candy land with the kids). The next day, we sat in the back yard (between all our sporting events) and enjoyed the beautiful weather.
At 3:00, FIL left. As he was leaving, he paid both boys a compliment: “D-Man, you have gotten so much better at baseball. Mr. A, that’s because he’s been watching you play!”
So, like I said, not all negative. But 24 hours with the man is plenty. It’s just enough to drive me to drink – and drink I did!
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You should hear my FIL & husband have serious conversations about the exact right time to put my 7yo into baseball to ensure he can play professionally some day. I am not kidding. HE’S SEVEN. And not even really into baseball. Sigh.
Dammit, Kim, you’d better get him into baseball, or else…!
My MIL is a lot like this. She raised 8 kids of her own, so she has advice and an opinion about everything. She’s truly sweet and well meaning though, so it doesn’t bother me that much anymore. I think they are just from a different generation who said what they thought and never sugarcoated anything like we all do these days.
Kathy, you’re right… it’s well meaning. But it also drives me nuts.
I do not suffer unsolicited advice well at all. And by that I mean I smille and nod, then complain to my husband about how rude/horrible/stupid someone was, and then the next time he sees them he tells them to leave me alone.
It is very nice that their grandpa wants to see them and is present in their lives. Glad you had survived!
Nice when they’re involved, yes… but pain in the ass when they put their two cents in where it doesn’t belong!
Honestly don’t know any way to spend time with in-laws without loads of wine. It’s very tricky business! Argh!!!
Tricky it is! You got that right!
Bottoms up. At least it’s only twice a year…
Ha ha… it’s twice a year that he comes down. We go up there way more often. We’ll be up there for Father’s Day. So, bottom’s up is right!
I’m off to spend 5 days with my FIL,( God, thank you for inventing vodka.)
I do believe that’s why alcohol was invented — to get us through time spent with in-laws!
Oh, I know just what you mean!! You don’t even need him to say what he means because you already know and you are right! I feel like I am this way with my mom. Actually, I had to stand up to my dad a few times this past season when he’d say something about how my son only got picked for the All-Stars because he was the best on a team of bad players. Basically, “he’s not good, but he looked good because everyone else is bad and you’ll realize how bad he is when he’s around kids that are actually good.”. Sigh. Don’t even get me started. (I guess I already did?)
(Thanks for linking this up over at #findingthefunny last week!)
Kelly, that makes me CRAZY! It’s hard enough being a parent. We don’t need our parents’ two cents. Not to mention, times have changed. Parenting styles have evolved. We use car seats and don’t’ smoke when we’re pregnant. We do things differently now. They need to leave the parenting of our own kids up to us!