Before your kids were born, you had an idea in your head of what kind of parent you’d be — you know, cool, hip, all-knowing, etc… You’d look at other parents in judgement as they did things you swore you’d never do.
Then you became a parent and all your preconceived notions went out the window.
1. Back then… you’d become irritated every time your friends called you up just so you could hear their baby coo. Now here you are… so awestruck by your baby’s ability to gurgle on queue that you feel the need to share it with everybody you know, including your single, childless friends.
2. Back then… you believed that anyone who’d allow their 1-year old to suck on a pacifier should be reported to the American Academy of Dentistry. Now here you are… watching your 2-year old soothe himself to sleep by the gentle sucking motion of his favorite binky.
3. Back then… you thought a minivan was the most uncool vehicle on the planet. Now here you are… luxuriating in your 8-person kid mobile, enjoying the automatic sliding doors, the wide screen DVD player and all the awesome storage compartments.
4. Back then… you’d become violently ill at the sight and sound of Barney and his freakishly creepy friends. Now here you are… praising his name as you hastily turn to PBS, while your kids scream and cry only to be consoled by the annoying purple dinosaur.
5. Back then… you’d look on in complete annoyance as parents let their kids thrown earsplitting tantrums right in the middle of the grocery store. Now here you are… ignoring your inconsolably upset child (and those around you) in an effort to teach him that screaming bloody murder won’t win him that candy bar.
Having kids turns even the coolest of people into versions of themselves they never knew was in them. It’s an inevitable fact of parenthood.