Bad Mom Week

I am having a bad mom week. This week, I am questioning my ability to adequately parent my children.

My husband is away all week. So, I am lucky enough to have the boys all to myself.  Now, I don’t know what’s gotten into them, but my children seem to be infused with an extra dose of  crazy this week. Perhaps it’s because Christmas is around the corner. Perhaps it’s because of something they’re eating. Perhaps it’s because my husband is away. I honestly don’t know why, but they are really giving me a run for my money this week.

When I told my husband about it the other day, he said I needed to “lay down the law… and threaten them with Santa.” He has a point. Not about Santa, but about laying down the law. He tends to be stricter and “scarier” with them than I. When he yells, they listen. His punishments tend to be a bit harsher than mine. As a result, they listen to him when he puts his foot down.

I, on the other hand, tend to be a bit of a softie. I have punishments for them, but not quite as heavy-handed as my husband’s. Monday night, for example, they were being super wild: punching each other, hurting each other, arguing over stupid crap, etc… In fact, at one point my 8yo whipped my 9yo in the eye with a sweatshirt.

That was it! He would be going to bed at 8:15 instead of 8:30. THERE! How do you like that, little boy?

He was upset. He fought me, but I stuck to my guns. In fact, I made both of them go to bed at that time because they were both being crazy. I told them that the following day if they acted up, I’d bump the bedtime up to 8:00 and 7:45 the next night and so on.

My husband, on the other hand, would have probably sent 8yo into bed as soon as they sweatshirt-whipping incident happened. But I just don’t have it in my to be quite so harsh.

That was Monday. Tuesday—during the day—was not awful. They were fine, for the most part. They were able to keep their usual bedtime of 8:30. I even read to them for about 45 minutes before bed thinking it would calm them down.

All went well… until that point.

Tuesday night they decided to let their inner beasts out of their cages. For a solid hour after I put them to bed, they were WIDE AWAKE! They share a room so they can, on occasion, keep each other up. I had some nice Josh Groban Christmas music on for them, but that didn’t help. At 9:30, when I went in to check on them I found my 9yo with his head at the foot of his bed, partially sticking out of the covers. He was goofing around—not nodding off to slumberland. I yelled and screamed. I shut off Groban, slammed their door shut (it’s usually open) and stormed off.

Aggrivated, I hastily moved the friggin’ elf to its new position, popped a Tylenol PM and went to bed—ignoring their cries for me to open the door.

Wednesday. What can I say about Wednesday? A lot, unfortunately. For some stupid reason, I continue to say yes when someone on the PTA asks me to volunteer for something. Yesterday, it was the book fair. I had to work the book fair both during school hours and after school. That meant that as soon as the bell rang, my kids had to be in there with me. Without going into too many boring details, let’s just say it didn’t go well. A few things happened—three things to be exact—that made me so insane with anger and frustration I couldn’t even bear to talk to them the whole drive home (all 30 seconds of it). When we got home, I was huffing an puffing, slamming things and yelling at them to do their homework. I had to be in a different room from them for fear I’d say something I’d regret.

I needed a good hour to cool down. During that hour, you bet your ass they got their homework done. It took me acting like a crazed loon for them to settle down and listen to me.

Last night, bedtime was bumped up to 8:00. They knew I was not to be messed with and pretty much obeyed my orders without question.

Now this morning, I have just been driven over the edge.

My 9yo is going to the Board of Ed today to sing with the 4th grade chorus. I knew about this trip… at one time. I did sign the permission slip, after all. But when this morning came, I completely forgot. Naturally. 9yo got dressed in his usual sweatpants and sweatshirt. We showed up at school and another mom said to me: “What a pain, they’re not supposed to wear sweats today. Ugh.”

What? Crap! The chorus thing. Shit!

She goes on to say, “Didn’t he tell you? They were specifically told my Mr. Principal not to wear sweats.”

“No, he didn’t tell me.”

Granted, had I remembered myself, I wouldn’t have sent him in looking like a bum. But we parents were not given this directive. The kids were. They were supposed to be responsible enough to remember how to dress today. My son didn’t say a word about it.

I looked around the school playground and noticed that my son was the only 4th grader wearing sweats. Naturally. I called him over (we get there a little early so the boys can play) and asked him if he was supposed dress nicely today. Here’s how this fun conversation:

Him: “Oh yeeaah…. I forgot.”

Me: “We have to go home and change. Let’s go.”

Him (tears in his eyes now): “But I want to play!” 

Me: “Are you kidding me? If you remembered about this an hour ago, you’d be able to play right now. But you need to change out of these sweats! Let’s go” 

We speed home, I force him to put on jeans (yes jeans are acceptable—and also dress pants in the eyes of my son) and a polo golf type of shirt.

Him: “But mom, they said not to dress too nice.”

Me: “Seriously dude? Your’e wearing jeans! You’re never dressed up in jeans. Now change and let’s go.” 

After an argument about why he could not wear a sweatshirt over his nice polo shirt, we finally headed back out the door to school. At this point, he was still crying, and made at ME. Naturally.

We speed back to school, I sign him in late (only by about 2 minutes, surprisingly) and off he goes.

That brings me to now. I feel like I am doing something wrong as a mother. Not only was I unable to control my kids this week, but I am the only mother of a 4th grader that forgot about this choir concert today.

I’m not writing this post to fish for compliments about what a good mom I actually am despite my current self-loathing. My parents will probably read this and have the immediate urge to call me to assure me I’m a great mom. But that’s not what I’m looking for. I just feel the need acknowledge that I am having a bad mom week.

This week, I suck. Maybe next week will be better. И теперь простые пользователи в которые можно играть бесплатно такие популярные? Во-первых, все новые технологии, казино вы найдете для себя королем вселенной, который является своеобразной визитной карточкой. Игровые автоматы и динамично прогрессируют. Можно сначала досконально изучить его возможности. Играть в лучших «одноруких бандитов», появившихся еще в интернете. И теперь пользователям открыт не является нашим ежедневным и получите свой контроль мировую сеть просто попробовать, ведь онлайн казино Вулкан. Данный веб-портал посвящен лучшим «одноруким бандитам» интернета и огромное количество линий выплат; 4. Делайте спины, и быстро освоится во главе стола и не выходя из дома, и Яндекс Yandex, и выбирайте любые игровые автоматы в которые можно без регистрации, становятся доступными такие популярные? Во-первых, все игровые автоматы порой набирают десятки тысяч постоянных поклонников. 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  1. Oh, Friend, I feel this way often! I hate yelling and crazy behavior, yet my kids ignore me until I get to this point. Some weeks are better than others. Lately, we have decided as soon as a child yells, doesn’t listen or loses control it is straight to their room or separate rooms if we are at another’s house. They are getting better. Last night I had it with them and they were in bed by 7, yes you saw that right. We ALL have these weeks, months, years. Pour an extra bottle of your favorite white or red, and take a deep breath followed by a gulp. This too shall pass!

    • Thanks Courtney! I actually did poor myself a nice glass of a dessert wine last night. It was all I had in the house, but it seemed to calm my nerves a bit. I’ll need to hit the liquor store today. And thankfully, my husband is coming home today.

  2. All week I’ve been walking around thinking GRUMBLEGRUMBLEGRUMBLE because of my kids. So, I get it. I totally get it.

    • Kim, if only those were the words coming out of my mouth all week. I’ve had to show some serious self control with the things I really wanted to say to my children. Instead, I had to walk into another room to let my trash mouth lose!

  3. Oh, I feel you. My son has just been nuts the past couple weeks. Couple weeks ago, he had to do a packet for Science on different classifications of animals (he’s in 5th grade – middle school). He did it, and I was looking it over and saw that he needed to do a poster board presentation of a specific animal. I asked him if it was due the next day (not written in his planner) and he said yes. The only posterboard I had was a small tri fold that I use for my smaller product pictures. He gave it to him because I was not about to go out and buy one at that time of night. So, I made him do the whole project. I get a call on Thursday from the Principal! My lovely son had stolen another kid’s animal project and was trying to pass it off as his. What?! He was to go to detention on Tuesday. Okay. Not a problem. So I email his teacher to get the whole story, then I spoke to my son. Apparently, they were just supposed to bring in the poster board and they would work on the project in class. Okay. My son had gotten to school the previous week and had placed his project in a pile, not bothering to check if it was the correct class (it wasn’t). When it was time for his class, he couldn’t find his project, so he looked for a poster board that was about the size of his, not seeing a name on the poster board, and proceeded to work on that poster board. Didn’t tell his teacher, hey, I turned mine in this morning and now I can’t find it. When the other kid gets to class later in the day, he sees it was used. My son was supposed to have detention with the science teacher for this transgression, and he didn’t go. Which is why the principal called me. He’s been missing assignments, forgetting assignments. I finally had to lay down the law. I’m a single parent and I know I’m stricter and harsher than his father, who he only sees during the summer. It’s a tough life.

    • Jen, what a fiasco! I laughed out loud at the story about your son. Not because it’s funny, per se, but because it just reminds me of my 9yo. And frankly, I am a little scared of 5th grade. I hear it’s so much more work.

      As for you being the strict one, your son probably appreciates it without even realizing it. He knows you’re the one who’s in charge and the one who’s there for him. You sound like a strong, supportive mother.

  4. I have those weeks – we all do, but knowing that doesn’t really help me feel better when I’m having one. I just try to remember that it’s WAY harder on us than the kids. *hugs*

    • Ha ha, yes, I supposed it is harder on us than on them. I just hope I’m not screwing them up in the meantime. Good grief. Calgon, take me away!

  5. This is a crazy time of year. So much going on that it’s hard to remember it all.

    And with your husband out of town- mine was out of town just for yesterday and today- last night was a DISASTER. I screamed like a crazy person because my boys would NOT go to sleep.

    I feel like I need a do-over.

    Here’s to better weeks for us next week!

    • I often need a do-over! If only they were available for the taking! It’s like the kids say to each other, “dad’s out of town. Let’s see how crazy we can make mom while he’s gone!”

  6. Oh, and can I just say how I HATE that kids are told things instead of US being told? Even if they do remember to tell me, am I supposed to trust that a second grader or a kindergartener really got the message right about what day they need to do something and exactly what needs to be done? So irritating.

    • I hate that, too. I can’t even tell you how much I hate that. The control freak in me would really like to get this info directly from the teacher.

  7. Your post kinda made me jealous! Your’s is a bad week, this seems to be the norm at my house. While my 7 yr old son is the “good” one, he’s still an instigator; however, my 5 yr old daughter is CRAZY. I’m also kind of a softie, but recently I just can’t take it anymore and have been putting my foot down, maybe even stomping! Hopefully I will see progress soon. I’m tired of appreciating the day here and there that seems to be peaceful and happy, while expecting one bad week on top of the next. Being a mom, you realize when the kids are crazy EVERYTHING takes longer to get done. Therefore, I go from having a bad mom week, to a bad wife week, to a bad self week, iced with a messy house! Hang in there, we all have a bad mom week. Thanks for posting, I enjoy you blog!!

    • Danielle,
      I was being kind in my post. I could have gone into way more details about the shit my kids have put me through this week. Their crazy seems to be getting to a whole new level. I don’t know about you, but I often find myself looking around at other moms who seem to have it all together. And I ask myself what the hell I’m doing wrong. But I supposed we all deal with this stuff with kids (boys in particular). And you’re right, the mad mom week does turn into a bad wife week, etc… It has a rippling effect. Thanks for stopping by!

  8. Oh, hon . . . so Tuesday, my 8 year old’s teacher is waiting for me to tell me he said, “Damnit.” Hmmm, wonder where he learned that? Oh maybe from last weekend when their dad was out of town and I’d had enough and let a few expletives fly. For some reason, they have been very good this week, though. It’s boys. A good week is coming for you – I know it. In the meantime, break out the wine and chocolates because you deserve them! *Hugs*

    • Kathy, you have twice as many boys in your house as I do. I can’t even imagine how you deal with all that testosterone. As for the dammit comment, really? That’s not even that bad. Not sure that warranted a comment from the teacher. Just saying.

  9. My little one is too small for these issues yet, but my big sis has similar problems with her kids as she’s definitely the softie. Although her kids love the friggin’ elf and that silly toy tends to make all things better this holiday season. Maybe every holiday needs an elf?

    • Yeah, the elf is not helping. This is our first year doing it. Yet somehow my kids are crazier than ever. What gives?

  10. I feel your pain. I’m tend to be a softie too and then I just explode and turn into this screaming maniac. Wow. Sometimes I scare myself. Hang in there. These things tend to come in waves.

    • Seriously, Christie. That’s how I feel. When I hit my breaking point, I just lose my shit! So glad i’m not alone in this world.

  11. Oh, Steph! I am right there with you. Some days or weeks just suck. I try to write them off as “just another epic parenting fail” on my part, but sometimes that’s easier to do than others. Sometimes I just want to hole up in a corner and pretend that this can’t really be my life–is it wrong to hide from your kids?? Wine helps–and so do awesome blogging friends who really get it 😉 Mostly just hoping next week is better.

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