When my husband and I started dating, we seemed to have so much in common. We were 19 years old; we went to the same college, lived in the same dorm, had the same friends, liked to go to the same parties and watched the same TV shows. We were young and in love and just having a good time.
The happy couple at age 20
Fast forward 20 years and where are we now? We are happily married with two boys and a nice little home. But we are very different. We do not have as much in common today as we once thought. As we grew up and took on the responsibilities of adulthood, our differences became more and more apparent.
My husband and I are, in many ways, polar opposites:
- I am anxious. I worry about pretty much everything. I am a what-if girl. He is calm as a summer’s morning. He worries about nothing. He very much lives in the moment.
- I like to eat healthy. I gravitate towards lower fat, nutritionally rich foods. He eats what he likes regardless of its nutritional value. He runs—no, sprints—from any food that says, whole grain, low fat or all-natural.
- My favorite meal of the day is breakfast. He doesn’t eat breakfast.
- I like wine. He likes beer.
- My idea of an awesome Friday night involves the couch and a riveting TV show or movie. His idea of an awesome Friday night involves a bar and a riveting football or basketball game.
- I cry at the thoughts of my kids growing up. He looks forward to it.
- I am book-smart and street-clueless. He is street-smart and book-… wait, book? What book?
- I’m a writer and I like to read. He is a math guy and he likes to figure out sports stats and NCAA brackets.
- When I get sick, I’m dead to the world for days. When he gets sick, he downs some NyQuill, sleeps for 10 hours and wakes up good as new.
- When things don’t go my way, I bitch and moan (crying may be involved). When things don’t go his way, he just casually rolls with it.
- Use a lot of words to get my point across—complete with descriptive stories, intricate details and tangential side notes. He talks in one-word sentences.
- I like to go to bed no later than 10:00 p.m. He likes to goes to bed no earlier than 1:00 a.m.
- I can’t stand the sight of a messy house, while he seems to never notice the dishes in the sink or the clothes strewn about. He can’t stand the sight of an imperfect lawn, while I never seem to notice the browning grass or the bald spots.
- I’m short. He’s tall. I’m blonde. He’s brunette.
See? Different.
But you know what? It works for us. To those who say opposites attract, I say you’re right. Sure there are times—many times—when our differences get in the way… when I wish my husband could just see things my way. But more times than not, we complement each other.
The happy couple at age 38
At the end of the day, I know that if I married someone just like me, I’d go insane—literally. While sometimes I think he is too laid back, I know that his calm demeanor is just what this anxious girl needs. And while he sometimes thinks I’m too uptight, he knows my cautious ways keep him alert in life.
On the surface, we may seem like a mismatched couple. But underneath it all, we fit perfectly together—like two pieces of a puzzle.
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So well said. If you were too alike you’d drive each other crazy! Hubby and I actually are getting more alike as we age. Not sure that is a good thing.
And, good looking couple THEN and NOW!!
Ha ha, thanks, Kathy. There were more embarrassing “then” photos that I chose not to include.
I have many of those charming “then” photos. It has been truly rewarding to be an ‘fly on the wall’ to the marvelous evolution.
We should be best friends. I swear I thought you were writing my story.
Katlyn,
So nice to know I’m not alone!
i totally agree with opposites attract, and what’s that line from modern family? every family can only have one fun parent, if you have two then the kid is wearing pajama pants to school!
Ha ha, that’s hysterical. So true.
Oh, how sweet! I love the comparisons and your cute pictures. Scott and I are alike, but different enough to keep balance, balance is super important in a good marriage.
Thanks, Courtney. It’s funny how our personalities just sort of mold together, despite our similarities and differences, isn’t it? You said it… balance is key!
I understand this one. We’re the same way. I think it’s a great balance, but when it comes to things like politics, ideas about what makes a “great” vacation, and whether or not fruitcake is the suckiest holiday treat ever (it is), I’m constantly amazed that we disagree. HOW ARE WE MARRIED TO EACH OTHER?
Stop it. Who can possibly disagree with the fact that fruitcake is the worst holiday treat ever. You may want to consider marriage counseling for that one.
Wow. I can’t believe how alike you and your husband are to me and my partner. It’s uncanny. I showed him your post and he laughed out loud at the first one! Thanks for this post. It made me feel better about the differences that drive me mad at times
Thank YOU for showing me I’m not the only one! Sometimes I wonder.
Thanks for stopping by, Kiki.
Wow, I could copy about half of this and say the same for my marriage. Me? Anxious. Hubby? Totally calm in a dead to the world “what can we do?” way. I visited your blog a while back and am so glad I found it again. It’s bookmarked, now!
Awesome, Kristi! Thanks for coming back. Yeah, it’s totally weird how we can be attracted to each other — so different. I like how you said it… in a “what can we do?” way. Yup, that’s my hubs.
This is so sweet and I love love LOVE the pics of you guys then and now.