When my husband and I started dating, we seemed to have so much in common. We were 19 years old; we went to the same college, lived in the same dorm, had the same friends, liked to go to the same parties and watched the same TV shows. We were young and in love and just having a good time.
Fast forward 20 years and where are we now? We are happily married with two boys and a nice little home. But we are very different. We do not have as much in common today as we once thought. As we grew up and took on the responsibilities of adulthood, our differences became more and more apparent.
My husband and I are, in many ways, polar opposites:
- I am anxious. I worry about pretty much everything. I am a what-if girl. He is calm as a summer’s morning. He worries about nothing. He very much lives in the moment.
- I like to eat healthy. I gravitate towards lower fat, nutritionally rich foods. He eats what he likes regardless of its nutritional value. He runs—no, sprints—from any food that says, whole grain, low fat or all-natural.
- My favorite meal of the day is breakfast. He doesn’t eat breakfast.
- I like wine. He likes beer.
- My idea of an awesome Friday night involves the couch and a riveting TV show or movie. His idea of an awesome Friday night involves a bar and a riveting football or basketball game.
- I cry at the thoughts of my kids growing up. He looks forward to it.
- I am book-smart and street-clueless. He is street-smart and book-… wait, book? What book?
- I’m a writer and I like to read. He is a math guy and he likes to figure out sports stats and NCAA brackets.
- When I get sick, I’m dead to the world for days. When he gets sick, he downs some NyQuill, sleeps for 10 hours and wakes up good as new.
- When things don’t go my way, I bitch and moan (crying may be involved). When things don’t go his way, he just casually rolls with it.
- Use a lot of words to get my point across—complete with descriptive stories, intricate details and tangential side notes. He talks in one-word sentences.
- I like to go to bed no later than 10:00 p.m. He likes to goes to bed no earlier than 1:00 a.m.
- I can’t stand the sight of a messy house, while he seems to never notice the dishes in the sink or the clothes strewn about. He can’t stand the sight of an imperfect lawn, while I never seem to notice the browning grass or the bald spots.
- I’m short. He’s tall. I’m blonde. He’s brunette.
But you know what? It works for us. To those who say opposites attract, I say you’re right. Sure there are times—many times—when our differences get in the way… when I wish my husband could just see things my way. But more times than not, we complement each other.
At the end of the day, I know that if I married someone just like me, I’d go insane—literally. While sometimes I think he is too laid back, I know that his calm demeanor is just what this anxious girl needs. And while he sometimes thinks I’m too uptight, he knows my cautious ways keep him alert in life.
On the surface, we may seem like a mismatched couple. But underneath it all, we fit perfectly together—like two pieces of a puzzle.