My husband, a calm, easy going optimist, somehow found himself married to a neurotic, high-strung worry wart. In the early years of our wedded bliss, I used to think to myself: Gee I hope this marriage works out … because really, who else could possibly put up with me?
Oh I believed it, too. I really thought I was that undesirable to be around. I believed that people didn’t actually enjoy being with me; they simply tolerated me. Yeah, not a lot of self confidence going on back then.
Since that time, I had a couple of kids, lived through a couple of nasty storms (both metaphorically and literally), learned a couple of tough lessons and, quite frankly, grew up. Somewhere along the way, I adopted a more balanced view of myself.
Yes, there are things about myself that I’m not fond of: I’m a tad bit uptight; I worry too much about things outside of my control; I get really angry when I’m overwhelmed; I huff and puff when things don’t go my way; I have terrible panic attacks (and terrible knees); and I have a tendency to quit when the going gets rough.
But you know what? It turns out there are things about myself that I quite like as well: I’m generally a nice person; I always give a thank-you wave to people who let me go in traffic; I know how to laugh—really laugh; I smile at strangers; I’m extremely extroverted; I’m a pretty good mom (most days); I can admit when I’m wrong; I learn from my mistakes; and I love intensely.
There is, in fact, more than just one side of me. Sometimes I suck and sometimes I rock. But isn’t that true of all of us? Is anybody perfect? No. Not a single soul on God’s green earth is perfect. Not a one. And that, my friends, is what makes life so interesting; it’s what makes people so interesting.
But—and this is a big BUT—it’s not always easy to recognize the good along with the bad. For some reason, we humans find it much easier to zero in on our imperfections rather than our awesomeness.
Not me. Not anymore. I no longer wonder why my husband is married to me. I no longer question why my friends are hanging out with me. I no longer beat myself up in self-loathing and negativity. No, today I see my flaws in a more productive light: shades of a color pallet that when mixed other hues come together to create a one-of-a-kind painting.
Our strengths and our weaknesses are meant to work together as a team. To take one without the other would be to strip away the beauty that makes up the whole.
I accept me for me… all of me. Do you?
Aw! It is a growing process to accept who we are, the good and the bad. I used to question WHY did he pick me? But now, like you, I see that his strengths and my weaknesses and my strengths and his weaknesses are a wonderful balance. I love this post. It is so true
Thanks, Courtney!
I think this way of thinking comes with maturity.
PS I just LOVE your photo!
I am who I am just as much from the poor choices I have made in life as I am from the positive ones I have made. And I wouldn’t change a thing. It took me until not too many years ago to figure that out.
Oh, and I wave to people who let me go in traffic, too. It’s the little things….
That’s a really good point, Dyanne. Our poor choices have led us to where we are today, have they not?
Yes, it is the little things. It really is!
I could have written this, Steph. All except for your last lines about accepting all of me. I’m 42 and I still struggle with hating on myself all the time. I know I’m supposed to not care, love myself, no one’s perfect; but it’s so ingrained in me, it’s like a habit now. Thanks for the lovely reminder.
Kathy,
It’s not always easy. I still beat myself up sometimes. But when I do, I immediately think about my not great qualities actually benefit me. For example, I’m a worry wart, yes. But it’s also that side of me that shows concern and empathy for others when they’re going through something difficult. I get overwhelmed way too easily. But it’s that part of me that drives me to simplify my life. So, that’s what I try to focus on.
Our strengths and our weaknesses are meant to work together as a team. To take one without the other would be to strip away the beauty that makes up the whole.
This nugget of wisdom is life changing!
Thank you, May! It makes sense though, doesn’t it?
What a great post. I could’ve written most of it, so it’s always nice to remember that it’s not just me. I’m also in the phase of realizing who I really am, accepting it, and (dare I say) celebrating it. It’s slow going, but I’m going to get there.