20 ways show your kids you love them (without saying the words)

As a mom, I find that I often beat myself up over something that I’m doing wrong or not doing well enough in the raising of my children. But then I remind myself that I am not today, nor will I ever be, perfect; I am flawed in so many ways I’ve lost count. And that’s okay.

But one thing I know for sure: my boys know, without a doubt, how much I love them. In that simple fact, I am confident.

So today I am sharing with you my advice for how to show your kids you love them (without saying the words):

  1. Ask them about their day, every day.
  2. When they’re telling you something they deem important, give them your undivided attention.
  3. When they’ve done something that makes you proud, tell them.
  4. Make it a point to frequently remind them of all their good qualities.
  5. Take time to engage in one-on-one activities with them.
  6. Tell them how lucky you feel to be their mom.
  7. Laugh with them.
  8. Attend their extra-cariccular actives (sporting events, dance recitals, plays, etc…) as often as you can.
  9. Set boundaries.
  10. Encourage them to try harder while acknowledging what they’ve already accomplished.
  11. When you’re wrong, say I’m sorry.
  12. Respect their feelings.
  13. Be aware of what’s going on with their schoolwork: know when they have projects due or tests coming up; have  a sense for what they’re working on for homework; have a relationship with their teachers.
  14. Don’t talk down to them. They may be little, but they’re still human.
  15. Know who their friends are—and ask about them often.
  16. Let them into your world; open up to them (when appropriate).
  17. Ask for their opinion.
  18. Forgive them for their mistakes. Remind them that you also make mistakes.
  19. Look them in the eyes when you speak to them. (This is not always possible, I know. But do it as often as you can).
  20. Hug them. Kiss them.

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  1. I love every single point on this list, Steph. These are all such easy basic things, yet if we don’t pay attention to them, they get overlooked. Every child just wants to know that they are loved and valued. A little effort goes a long way.

    • It’s amazing just how much the little things count with kids. They notice so much that we’re unaware of.

  2. All of these are top-notch, but I think the boundary one is the most overlooked. And kids need and naturally desire boundaries to make them feel safe. Your little guys are so lucky, Steph!

    • May, it’s so true. Kids roll their eyes at rules, but without them, they flounder. And on some level I think they know it.

      Thanks for your input. Love hearing from you, as always!

  3. Beautiful. Especially liked the reminder to apologize when we are wrong–such an important to teach them, and a great way to love them. Thanks for getting it so right, Steph.

    • Meredith, I’m a bit apologizer. We all make mistakes, but so few of us admit it when we do. I’d like my kids to grow up understanding that fact. Unfortunately, today they are still in the “it’s not my fault” stage.

  4. You left off # 21 and #22: Hug them, Kiss them and Hug them, Kiss them!!
    There can never be too much of that!

    • Well, that’s true. Actually, I wrote another post about a month ago about showing your kids you love them without saying the words, and hug and kiss them was on that list!

  5. Lee Dunne says:

    Letting them in on the biblical application I apply and rely on in day to day interaction.

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